I don't know if it's just the time of year or if it's the huge drifts of snow fossilizing along the roads but my depression has been an insidious ghost enveloping me. I can't seem to shake it this year. It's worse and it's better. I can recognize it and beat it back so it doesn't completely overwhelm me but my feet are dragging and I can't outrun it. Usually my depression besets me to the exclusion of all else but this year, I feel like I'm just a spectator; watching it all unfold through the looking glass. It's disconcerting but it's better than being carried along in the deluge. I know there's really nothing wrong and that my life is good and I am happy. It feels like I have one of those viruses that hang on and on and make you feel like you've been hit by a truck.
Maybe I just need spring. I have a yearning, an ache and a hunger for spring that can't be satisfied until I can smell that deep, earthy, wet smell of decomposing leaves and tiny green shoots of new life. This year, I am counting the days and the hours.
Julie
Don't slip down the slippery slope. Spring will be here soon I hope.
ReplyDeleteBrenda
Thanks Brenda - I know you understand. J
DeleteJulie - I think the weather this year has messed everyone up. Hang on. I'm sure the sunshine and working in the garden will help your spirits.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
Judy
thanks Judy - the sun is getting brighter and I am hopeful. Hope all is well with you. J
DeleteI wish I could do something to help you. Spring is just around the corner and hopefully some sunshine and warmth will inspire you. Me, I've been making lists of all the things I want to start doing as soon as we can start working on our back deck again. xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim - you are a true friend and I appreciate it. I'm feeling a lot better. The sun is shining here. J
DeleteHello Julie, and warm greetings from Montreal. My heart goes out to you, and I can empathize with depression, because I struggle with it myself. I am hoping that your ups far outweigh your downs. Sending you a hug. Your photos are lovely.
ReplyDeleteHello Linda and merci. I am feeling so much better and know I can't wait for spring because Environment Canada says we are going to have a very late spring this year. We are at least getting a lot of sun here and my sunroom feels lovely and bright. I hope you are well. xo J
ReplyDeleteI needed spring as well. Winter can seem long and sad. My husband passed Nov. 10 2012 so it adds to the sadness I fell. Spring always shows me the awakening of the wonderful world God gave us and declares new beginnings.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss, Rose. Spring does help to lift my spirits too. J
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