March 17, 2014

A Thirst That Can't Be Quenched




I don't know if it's just the time of year or if it's the huge drifts of snow fossilizing along the roads but my depression has been an insidious ghost enveloping me.  I can't seem to shake it this year.  It's worse and it's better.  I can recognize it and beat it back so it doesn't completely overwhelm me but my feet are dragging and I can't outrun it.  Usually my depression besets me to the exclusion of all else but this year, I feel like I'm just a spectator; watching it all unfold through the looking glass.  It's disconcerting but it's better than being carried along in the deluge.  I know there's really nothing wrong and that my life is good and I am happy. It feels like I have one of those viruses that hang on and on and make you feel like you've been hit by a truck.


Maybe I just need spring.  I have a yearning, an ache and a hunger for spring that can't be satisfied until I can smell that deep, earthy, wet smell of decomposing leaves and tiny green shoots of new life.  This year, I am counting the days and the hours.

Julie

10 comments:

  1. Don't slip down the slippery slope. Spring will be here soon I hope.
    Brenda

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    1. Thanks Brenda - I know you understand. J

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  2. Julie - I think the weather this year has messed everyone up. Hang on. I'm sure the sunshine and working in the garden will help your spirits.

    Take care.

    Judy

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    1. thanks Judy - the sun is getting brighter and I am hopeful. Hope all is well with you. J

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  3. I wish I could do something to help you. Spring is just around the corner and hopefully some sunshine and warmth will inspire you. Me, I've been making lists of all the things I want to start doing as soon as we can start working on our back deck again. xo

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    1. Thanks Kim - you are a true friend and I appreciate it. I'm feeling a lot better. The sun is shining here. J

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  4. Hello Julie, and warm greetings from Montreal. My heart goes out to you, and I can empathize with depression, because I struggle with it myself. I am hoping that your ups far outweigh your downs. Sending you a hug. Your photos are lovely.

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  5. Hello Linda and merci. I am feeling so much better and know I can't wait for spring because Environment Canada says we are going to have a very late spring this year. We are at least getting a lot of sun here and my sunroom feels lovely and bright. I hope you are well. xo J

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  6. I needed spring as well. Winter can seem long and sad. My husband passed Nov. 10 2012 so it adds to the sadness I fell. Spring always shows me the awakening of the wonderful world God gave us and declares new beginnings.

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    1. So sorry for your loss, Rose. Spring does help to lift my spirits too. J

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